Expensive Moneyist,

I’m 62 and my accomplice is 70. We now have been collectively for 16 years, residing collectively for 12 of these.

We now have at all times had separate financial institution accounts. ‘In 2008, we misplaced nearly all the things within the Nice Recession, and have rebuilt our property into an affordable place.’ We labored our butts off.

Now that we’re able to retire, I’ve requested my accomplice that we put all of our financial institution accounts and superannuation accounts in joint names. He refuses. 

He has extra money than me. I’m offended. Do I’ve the best to be?

Offended

The Moneyist: My wife has a degenerative neurological disease. My father-in-law wants to put her in a facility — and take over our finances

Need to learn extra? Comply with Quentin Fottrell on Twitter and browse extra of his columns here.

Expensive Offended,

You’ve the best to really feel no matter approach you wish to really feel. 

Right here’s what’s lacking out of your letter: “Why?” Why do you wish to merge your funds now? Do you concern the life you’ve gotten constructed collectively and the approach to life to which you’ve gotten each change into accustomed — by way of your stamina and laborious work — will finish when one in every of you predeceases the opposite? (That’s, in case your boyfriend predeceases you.) 

Do you’re feeling that your joint financial savings needs to be break up 50/50 based mostly on the time you’ve gotten been collectively and the help you’ve gotten given one another these previous 16 years? You’ve been collectively as lengthy, if not longer, than many married {couples}, in any case. Or does the variations in your circumstances change into extra pronounced now that you’re not working full time? 

The Moneyist: My parent had early-onset Alzheimer’s, and I’m afraid I will get it too. How do I split my estate between my girlfriend and daughter?

As on your residing preparations, you don’t say whether or not you co-own the house you reside in. If not, one get together may give the opposite “tenancy for all times” or “proper of survivorship.” I think that issues about your monetary safety in retirement play a task. In that case, I each perceive your request, but additionally your boyfriend’s reluctance to change into the answer to that drawback.

Sustaining separate accounts and remaining single for almost twenty years suggests to me that there are, maybe, different points that require consideration in your relationship. They might relate to belief, dedication or merely the need for one or each of you to maintain your monetary independence ought to the character of your relationship change.

I don’t assume it’s his “no” that offends you. It’s what it represents. However solely you and he can uncover the reply to that. 

Howdy there, MarketWatchers. Take a look at the Moneyist private Facebook
FB,
+2.33%

group, the place we search for solutions to life’s thorniest cash points. Readers write in to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Submit your questions, inform me what you wish to know extra about, or weigh in on the newest Moneyist columns.

Extra from Quentin Fottrell